7/06/01

Blair Witch 2: Book Of Shadows (2000. Artisan. Directed by Joe Berlinger.). Weak box office and a critical drubbing certainly made most people think Blair Witch 2 Book Of Shadows wasn’t worth seeing. While it’s true the movie has its flaws, it’s still not the mess many portrayed it to be. In fact, it’s an entertaining movie. A bunch of people head into the Black Hills of Burkittsville to do research on the “lost college kids” of the first film. By using quick edits, flashbacks, and a clever script, the movie unfolds into a fairly creepy adventure for the cast. I guess a backlash was to be expected, but this is a lot more interesting than Urban Legend 2, the second and third Screams, and trash like Cabin By The Lake.


Cabin By The Lake (2001 USA. Directed by Po-Chih Leong. Cast: Judd Nelson, Michael Weatherly, and Hedy Burress). I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life, but nothing beats the hour and a half with this tiresome movie. Judd Nelson writes horror screenplays. His stories are actually based on real research (i.e. he actually kills people and writes it out in detail). For his new film he’s kidnapping and drowning young girls. Once they’re dead, he anchors them to the bottom of the lake--as an underwater garden of girls. This might seem mildly interesting, but take my word for it, Cabin By The Lake stinks. Judd Nelson overacts from start to finish. Adding to the mess is a weak supporting cast, pretentious dialogue, and story that’s run out of gas in the first ten minutes. I have a feeling I’ll be lying in my death bed wishing for the 91 minutes I threw away watching this drek.

Devil In The Flesh 2 (2000. A-Pix. Directed by Marcus Spiegel. Cast: Jodi Lynn O’Keefe and Jsu Garcia). Jodi Lynn O’Keefe replaces Rose McGowan in the Devil In The Flesh follow-up. Sadly it doesn’t help much. She does a decent job as the seductive murderess, but the story is boring. Unless one is a relative of someone involved with Devil In The Flesh 2, I can’t imagine anyone being interested in this unnecessary sequel. Pass it by.

Emmanuelle In Space (1999. New Concorde. Directed by L.L.Shapira. Written by Noel Harrison. Cast: Krista Allen, Debra Beatty, and Angela Cornell). The Emmanuelle series was in its prime when Joe D’amato was directing the beautiful Laura Gemser for the “Black Emmanuelle” era. These films were perverse mixtures of sex and horror. Emmanuelle would sleep with everyone in sight, while she was battling snuff film directors or cannibals. Each of these titles is worthy of a place in any genre fan’s collection. Not so with this silly movie. Krista Allen looks fine--but she’s more vapid than sexy--and the plot is as dumb as it gets. Maybe it’s for those who rushed out to buy Leprechaun In Space. Does anyone know if the Noel Harrison who wrote the screenplay is the same guy as the co-star of the Girl From U.N.C.L.E. television show and maker of some decent folk-rock records in the late sixties?

If I Die Before I Wake (2000. Artisan. Directed and written by Brian Kaatkin. Cast: Stephanie Jones, Muse Watson, and Michael McCleery). This is a cool movie which VC readers need to see right away. Three brothers break into a suburban house to rob, rape, and murder the inhabitants. While torturing the mother, father, and son, two daughters are hiding with the eldest one plotting revenge. Boy, does she get even with these sickos. A series of highly stylized killings put this on par with other revenge classics such as Ms. .45, Last House On The Left, and I Spit On Your Grave. If I Die Before I Wake is a very suspenseful and nasty movie. The realistic, gritty edge makes for some serious seat squirming. Stephanie Jones is amazingly cool in the lead. One is certainly behind her mission and cheers her on as she sadistically pays back each brother.


Scary Movie (2000. Dimension. Directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans. Cast: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Carmen Electra, and Shannon Elizabeth). It completely baffles me how this horror spoof could do such great box office and have people salivating for the sequel. Scary Movie has a predictable script (the parodies of Blair Witch and Scream are so tepid one could imagine them on Saturday Night Live) and only average acting (everyone hams it up too much). Scary Movie is dull, stupid, and rarely funny. Can’t imagine why I would ever watch its sequel.