9/23/02

Devil Doll (1963. England. Image. Directed by Lindsay Shonteff. Cast: Bryant Haliday, William Sylvester, and Yvonne Romain. Widescreen 1.66:1 enhanced for 16x9 TVs. Mono. 81 minutes. Extras: UK version of film with “hot” European footage, photo gallery, feature length commentary from Producer Richard Gordon and film historian Tom Weaver, illustrated booklet, liner notes from Tom Weaver, and original U.S. trailer.). Is there anything more creepy than a ventriloquist dummy? I can’t think of anything. If you doubt me, check out this incredible Devil Doll DVD and I think you’ll soon agree. A British journalist is assigned to write a story on the Great Yorelli. He’s reputed to be the best hypnotist/ventriloquist around and it’s immediately understandable how he attained such a reputation. As a hypnotist, he’s somewhat mean spirited (one time he has his volunteer from the audience experience being executed, another time, he has a young lady do a striptease (European version). But, it’s when he works with his dummy, Hugo, that things take a turn towards “oddsville.” It’s one thing that Hugo and Yorelli have a tense relationship, but it’s downright scary when the little wooden Hugo gets up and walks, pulls a knife on Yorelli, and even commits murder. No wires or motors, something bizarre is happening and it’s up to the reporter and his fab girlfriend (who Yorelli soon has under his spell) to find the answers. Devil Doll’s cast is uniformly superb, with Bryant Haliday truly shining as The Great Yorelli. Although Yvonne Romain was in her mid-to-late twenties when shooting Devil Doll, she had the perfect British “teen mod” look. I’m sure she captured the hearts of the young males in the audience. More suspenseful than gory (even though there are numerous deaths), Devil Doll should please those who long for simple horror tales with atmosphere. Image has done a bang up job with this DVD. Not only does it look great, but they also provide as a bonus the complete European cut with nudity! Sadly, I have to break it to you that Yvonne Romain keeps her clothes on. One of my favorite DVDs of 2002.

The Fog (1979. USA. MGM. Directed by John Carpenter. Cast: Adrienne Barbeau, Jamie Lee Curtis, Hal Holbrook, Nancy Loomis, and Janet Leigh. Widescreen 2.35:1 or Fullscreen. 5.1 surround or mono English, French Mono. 90 minutes. Extras: 2002 documentary. 1980 documentary. Storyboards, outtakes, advertising gallery, and audio commentary from John Carpenter and producer Debra Hill.). I remember feeling a bit letdown when Karen and I saw this in the theater when originally released. Following the bombastic Halloween, this old fashioned style ghost story seemed a tad tame. I liked it, but wasn’t totally blown away. Well, I’m pleased to say, The Fog has aged extremely well and this is a DVD I’m proud to say I watched four times within the first week of owning. A small coastal town is about to pay tribute to its founding fathers. Too bad, the town was built by a corrupt bunch of people who promised sanctuary to a shipload of lepers, only to sink the vessel and steal the gold from the dead crew. As we well know, the dead don’t stay that way forever, and the ghosts have returned to punish the heirs of those who killed them, and, in the process get their gold back (although I don’t know what they’ll do with it beneath the ocean waters). The spirits are transported by a dense, rapidly moving Fog. The Fog is essentially broken down into three segments. The first, they return at midnight, and for one hour, odd things start to happen. Then, there’s the day, as we see the townspeople, city council, and mayor prepare for the evening’s festivities. Finally, it’s ghosts vs. humans time. Adrienne Barbeau is an all night jazz DJ, who, from her lighthouse radio station, helps to direct the battle against the ghosts. The extras, especially the two informative featurettes, are great, the picture/sound impressive, and the story itself eerie. Don’t delay, buy The Fog.

The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 (1984. USA. Directed by Wes Craven. Cast: John Laughlin, Michael Berryman, Robert Houston, Tamara Stafford, James Whitworth, Kevin Blair, Peter Frechette, and Janus Blythe. Mono. 87 minutes. Extras: Trailer). Oh my, what a horrible sequel. The original 1977 Hills Have Eyes was downright scary. Conservative family on vacation looks for a shortcut and ends up in the middle of nowhere, doing battle with a family of cannibals. Wes Craven gave horror fans a true nightmarish film. It’s sequel is a stupid mess. A group of annoying teenage motorcycle racers are going to a rally in the desert. Seems they have a special fuel designed by the surviving son of the first film and their team bus is driven by Janus Blyte (Ruby of the cannibal family--she just wants to lead a normal life!). The son bails out saying he can’t return to the desert, but the others go anyway. Once again, a short cut is needed and and the bus breaks down. It doesn’t take long for the two surviving male family members (Michael Berryman as Pluto and James Whitworth as Jupiter) to appear. They don’t seem overjoyed to reunite with their defecting sister. Now if this wasn’t dumb enough for you, Wes Craven didn’t shoot a lot of new material, as this is overflowing with flashbacks. One knows it’s trouble when the dog, Beast, has a flashback. Image’s DVD looks fine and should be welcomed by completists and fans of Michael Berryman. Most people, however, are just going to wonder why The Hills Have Eyes 1 isn’t out, yet. Image will probably sell more copies of The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 than Devil Doll. Do yourself a favor and pick up the latter. You’ll watch it more often.

Mari-Cookie And The Killer Tarantula (1998. Spain. SubRosa. Directed by Jess Franco. Cast: Lina Romay, Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley, Amber Newman, Analia Ivars, and Robert King. Widescreen. Stereo. Behind the scenes footage with optional nude commentary by Linnea Quigley, photo gallery, Les Psycholettes short film, trailers, Killer Barbys trailer, filmographies, “spider” eggs, and both USA and European versions of the film.). Imagine a director/film crew on acid shooting a bunch of actors/actresses doing mushrooms and then you might get the idea of this crazed, psychedelic film from the one and only Jess Franco. Mari-Cookie And The Killer Tarantula is a totally insane, nonsensical movie that will be cherished by Franco’s fans and ridiculed by the rest of the world. Lina Romay is a stripper who also morphs into a killer tarantula, Michelle Bauer is a lesbian sheriff fond of parading around in thigh high boots, cowboy hat, and not much else. She’s got the hots for Linnea Quigley. Linnea is more concerned with the well being of her daughter, Amber Newman, who is also a stripper and complains about having anal sex (trust me, I couldn’t make this up!). Surreal special effects (one can see strings on the spider, yet Lina’s miniature head on top of the spider looks fairly decent), perfectly fit the absurd story. In the end, men are tortured and the women realize how strong they’ll be if they bond together. The nice thing about this is how the entire cast gives spirited performances. Instead of writing this off as a silly mistake, they give Jess Franco plenty to work with. Consequently, Mari-Cookie And The Killer Tarantula should entertain those who don’t mind watching a movie where plot development is an afterthought. Then again, who needs an overly complex story when Michelle Bauer and Amber Newman spend much of their screen time nude. Surprisingly, for once, Linnea Quigley doesn’t pop her top. However, she more than makes up for this by doing a “Nude commentary track.” This has to be a first. Stark naked Linnea Quigley talks about the making of Mari-Cookie And The Killer Tarantula. The key to enjoying Jess Franco is to leave all rational thought behind, pop the DVD into your player, and have fun. One will get terminal brain freeze from trying to make too much sense out of a Jess Franco movie--especially when it’s Mari-Cookie And The Killer Tarantula.

Modesty Blaise (1966. England. 20th. Century Fox. Directed by Joseph Losey. Cast: Monica Vitti, Terence Stamp, Dirk Bogarde, Harry Andrews, and Michael Craig. 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen. Stereo or mono. 119 minutes. Extras: none.). Zany early attempt at taking a pop-art comic strip and making a feature film out of it. Monica Vitti is secret agent Modesty Blaise. Although there’s not a lot of action (mostly we get to see “hip looking” characters having silly conversations and Modesty looking sexy) the story deals with Modesty doing battle with bad spies. Terence Stamp helps her out in this mod, comedic farce--which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense unless compared to the plot of Marie-Cookie And The Killer Tarantula. Modesty Blaise is a fun period piece that fits in nicely with Danger: Diabolik and Barbarella, not to mention being an obvious inspiration to the Austin Powers series.

My Vampire Lover (2002. USA. Seduction Cinema/EI. Directed by George Freeway. Cast: Paige Richards, Misty Mundae, Darian Caine, Katie Jordan, Ruby LaRocca, Syn DeVil, and Allanah Rhodes. Fullscreen. Stereo. Extras: Behind the scenes documentary and trailers.). I think it’s safe to say, most Seduction Cinema titles sold are to those with the good taste of wanting an eyeful of the company’s attractive young starlets in various stages of undress. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m going to let you know sometimes they actually have a nice little movie holding together the required lesbian love making sessions. Case in point, My Vampire Lover. Paige Richards is new in town, looking for someone to spend a lifetime with--which, since she’s a vampire, could be eternity. One erotic adventure after another follows as Paige has some kicks, gives a little bite, and then fails in her mission of finding a soul mate. The pairings are often humorous--listening to Catholic college girl Misty Mundae beg for “God’s forgiveness” before diving into the arms of Paige is truly inspired. Equally funny is Darian Caine as a plumber, bending over to expose a lot of butt crack. The sexiest scene might be Allanah Rhodes as a stripper. Wow! This girl sizzles. Paige Richards does a great job delivering her lines. It’s obvious that she’s having fun with this part. We’re not talking great art here, but this has some substance which is too often unusual for movies of this ilk. Imagine an American version of those silly European sex comedies of the seventies and then you’ll understand My Vampire Lover.

The Prowler aka Rosemary’s Killer (1981. Blue Underground/Image. Directed by Joseph Zito. Cast: Farley Granger, Vicky Dawson, Christopher Goutman, Cindy Weintraub, and Lawrence Tierney. Widescreen 1.85:1 Enhanced for 16x9 TVs. Mono. 89 minutes. Extras: Audio commentary with Joseph Zito and special make-up effects artists Tom Savini, Tom Savini’s Behind the Scenes Gore Footage featurette, trailer, and poster/still gallery.). Nothing is worse than a “Dear John” letter, especially when one gets it while fighting in WWII. There’s only one thing this soldier can do. He returns home in time for her college graduation dance to spear his ex-gal and her new boyfriend with a pitchfork. Like most American towns, over reaction caused them to ban dances for nearly four decades. After all that time, I guess everyone felt it’s safe to have graduation dances again. Yeah right. G.I. Joe is back, in full uniform, ready to slaughter those dimwitted kids who stand in his way. Tom Savini’s special effects are masterful--the pitch fork killings will have viewers squirming in their seats and there’s an awesome head explosion. As far as body count movies go, The Prowler is one of the better ones out there. It’s sleazy, yet well directed. Always one of my favorite films, the fun commentary track made me appreciate it even more. I never knew The Prowler was shot in Cape May, New Jersey, less than fifteen minutes from my house.

Return Of The Living Dead (1985. USA. MGM. Directed by Dan O’Bannon. Cast: Clu Gulager, James Karen, Don Calfa, and Linnea Quigley. Widescreen 1.65:1 or Fullscreen. Mono. 91 minutes. Extras: Commentary track from Dan O’Bannon and production designer William Stout. Designing the Dead featurette by William Stout. TV spots and original theatrical trailer.). Horror spoofs rarely work, which is one of the reasons Dan O’Bannon’s Return Of The Living Dead has developed such a rabid cult. It’s so much fun to watch. At a medical supply company, a toxic chemical is accidentally released. It immediately brings the cadavers back to life. What to do? Bullets in the head didn’t work, so let’s chop ‘em up and take ‘em to the crematory next door. Not a bad idea except when they were burned to ashes, the smoke, combined with a violent thunderstorm, brought the dead at the nearby cemetery back to life, too. OOPS. Add in some punk kids, led by the always naked Linnea Quigley, who just want to party on the tombstones and there’s lots of comic relief to go along with the nasty looking special effects and brutal killings. Return Of The Living Dead remains a blast to watch because of inspired performances from Clu Gulager, James Karen, and Don Calfa, nice looking William Stout designed sets, and ugly, festering zombies. This special edition DVD is worth every cent.

Shock Waves (1976. USA. Blue Underground/Image. Directed by Ken Wiederhorn. Cast: Peter Cushing, Brooke Adams, Fred Buch, Jack Davidson, Luke Halpin, D.J. Sidney, Don Stout, and John Carradine. Widescreen 1.85:1 Enhanced for 16x9 TVs. Mono. 85 minutes. Extras: Audio commentary with Ken Wiederhorn, make up designer Alan Ormsby, and filmmaker Fred Olen Ray, an interview with Luke Halpin, trailer, TV spot, radio spot, and poster/still gallery.). I’ll always have a fondness for this drive-in staple. When Karen and I first got married, we spent a lot of nights at our local drive-in seeing awesome triple features. Shock Waves was a film we seemed to be duped into seeing several times (they kept bringing it back with different titles.). Not that it wasn’t worth seeing over and over, as Blue Underground’s excellent DVD proves. John Carradine is a cranky sea captain taking a small charter on a cruise. A storm hits, killing Carradine, and having everyone else end up on an isolated island. Not totally isolated, since living on it is a former S.S. Officer (Peter Cushing) and a batch of Nazi zombies. The living dead actually reside beneath the ocean. When they surface, it’s time to run/swim. Decent cast, led by Brooke Adams and Luke Halpin, ghastly looking zombie make-up from Alan Ormsby, and a weird setting make Shock Waves an unforgettable viewing experience. Best part of the commentary track are the tidbits from Fred Olen Ray. Now noted director, when Shock Waves was shot he was its young still photographer. It’s obvious this movie continues to be one of his best experiences. Listening to him share his stories is a lot of fun.

The Toolbox Murders (1977. USA. Blue Underground/Image. Directed by Dennis Donnelly. Cast: Cameron Mitchell, Pamelyn Ferdin, and Marianne Walter, and Wesley Eure. Widescreen 1.66:1 enhanced for 16x9 TVs. Mono. 94 minutes. Extras: Audio commentary with producer Tony DiDio, director of photography Gary Graver, and actress Pamelyn Ferdin, video interview with star Marianne Walter, trailer, TV spot, radio spot, poster/still gallery, and Cameron Mitchell bio.). Sitting around with some pals talking about sleaze epics and eventually the conversation turns to The Toolbox Murders. Nasty body count movie that has Cameron Mitchell taking care of evil women living in his apartment building. With a toolbox of weapons (screwdriver, hammers, and, who will ever forget, the nail gun), he seems to take great pleasure in his work. When he’s done, he can sit back and sing childlike songs to the girl he’s just kidnapped. If I lived there, I think it would take me less than 24 hours to start looking for a new apartment. Fortunately, his tenants weren’t so smart so we get to see one bloody, yet imaginative, butchering after another. Commentary track is a bit of a letdown. Producer Tony DiDio admits he only did this for the money and actress Pamelyn Ferdin confesses she never saw the movie before. I hate when people who’ll cash paychecks from being in genre pictures then act like their superior to the film. If it weren’t for Gary Graver talking, I would’ve stopped the commentary track within the first five minutes. These people really turned my stomach--and not in the right way. On the other hand, there’s a great video interview with Marianne Walter (aka porn star Kelly Nichols). She was proud of her part in this movie and didn’t shy away from talking about her switch into adult movies. Marianne was bubbling with enthusiasm for Toolbox Murders. I can’t imagine any VC readers not being familiar with The Toolbox Murders--but toss away those old VHS tapes and buy this DVD. Pan and scan has been replaced by widescreen and The Toolbox Murders has never looked better.

Werewolf Shadow (1972. Spain. Anchor Bay. Directed by Leon Klimovsky. Cast: Paul Naschy, Gaby Fuchs, Barbara Capell, and Paty Shepard. Widescreen 1.85:1 enhanced for 16x9 TVs. Mono. 95 minutes. Extras: An interview with Paul Naschy, trailer, TV spot, Paul Naschy poster gallery, and Paul Naschy bio.). Two young attractive female students are in Spain doing research on a legendary vampire queen. Paul Naschy, once again, as Waldemar Daninsky, the nice guy cursed into being a werewolf, helps them. He’s lonely, plus he thinks they might be able to help him with his problem. Not a good idea. They accidentally bring back the vampire queen, who promptly turns one of the students into a very sexy vampire. Oh and then the full moon rises and Paul Naschy is suddenly hairier than Ron Jeremy. Werewolf Shadow pitted humans, vampires and werewolves against each other in a remote, yet beautiful setting. This has previously been released on small budget labels, but spend the few extra bucks as Anchor Bay did a great job with this DVD.

If you have a DVD you’d like us to review at Video Crypt, please send a promo to Chip Lamey c/o Video Crypt, P.O. Box 54, Stone Harbor, N.J. 08247.